Sorry margin-huggers, but I've got some opinions over here, too. It's time to impregnate this country with my mind. And right now all that opinion is going to waste, like seed on barren ground. When the cameras go off, I'm still talking. I thought my nightly broadcast, The Colbert Report (check your local listings), would pick up some of the slack. In fact, I have so many opinions, I have overwhelmed my ability to document myself. I can barely put them in my mouth fast enough. I'm like Lucy trying to keep up with the candy at the chocolate factory. But I get your "drift." Why even dictate? Well, like a lot of other dictators, there is one man's opinion I value above all others. I shouted it into a tape recorder over the Columbus Day weekend, then handed it to my agent and said, "Sell this." He's the one who turned it into a book. Now, you might ask yourself, if by yourself you mean me, "Stephen, if you don't like books, why did you write one?" You just asked yourself a trick question. How many American Flags can you find in this paragraph?
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